Arguing with a Nutter When Pregnant #08

I'm living inside of this Perfectly Wonderful World.

He assumed that when I would give a shot, that I didn't

want to have diabetes anymore.

That I'm willing it, I'm literally thinking about it so hard, that I'm

willing that insulin to seep back out of my skin, out of my body.

Yeah, I'm, I'm thinking the same thing as you.

I'm thinking he's a nutter.

Join Deborah E.

Multi-award winning singer, podcaster and speaker who proves that being diagnosed

with a life-changing illness as a child, along with countless hospitalizations in

a family who told everyone should be dead before she reached puberty does not have

to stand in the way of life well-lived.

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other qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding your healthcare.

It seems we are on a roll covering pregnancies

with these podcast episodes.

Just a second.

I got to readjust the pumpy here.

Yeah, I named my insulin pump.

We call her I think most the time the gender is her Just

just for fun and call her pumpy.

Anyway, I'm gonna move her out of the way She kind of wanted to be center

stage and she'll have her turn But um, so we're covering pregnancies and the

last episode we covered my daughter's pregnancy I'm trying not to say names

for the sake of, of the kids, because they didn't exactly ask to be named.

But, and it wasn't that I wanted to go in opposite order, but, uh, she's my, my

baby, she's my youngest, and now we're going to go to, uh, her brother, who's

actually older than her, but that fit with the episode that was before that.

Um, and it made sense.

But anyway, let's get to the story instead.

So, this one, this one was kind of interesting.

It was obviously a high-risk pregnancy, just like the one last week that

we're talking about, the last episode.

Uh, any type 1 diabetic is a high-risk pregnancy because there

are extra concerns, obviously.

And more so years ago.

You know, it used to be that, well, as we covered in the last episode,

always had to be a C section, never an option for, for a regular delivery.

With this first pregnancy, had more challenges for many different reasons,

but let's, we'll, we'll go through them.

First of all, the doctor.

Now, the doctor, I'm, you know, I'm going to actually give him a name.

It's not his real name, but I think it's a name that several

of you can probably relate to.

How many of you are fans of the show that was on, let's

I'd have to go look it up.

I'd go Google it right now, but Dr.

House, if any of you know that show, he was a, um, diagnostician.

Uh, played by Hugh Laurie.

Anyway, he could be a pain in the royal butt as far as

personality, but brilliant man.

That was the character on the show, because it seems like he always figured

out, well, you know, I know it's, as my husband say, honey, it's television.

He always figured out what illness or what was wrong with the person, whether

it was no illness or not, figured out what, what was wrong with the person.

But personality-wise, he could rub people the wrong way.

Well, I swear this perinatologist that I had, you know, and perinatologist, he

specializes in high-risk pregnancies.

So they are, they're serious specialists.

When I say serious, this particular Dr.

House that I had, he had done in uterine.

Surgeries on fetuses.

Now, I'm just gonna say, "baby."

I mean, you get to that point where you are operating on a little person.

You're not operating on a fetus that's going to be aborted.

You're operating on a little child, on a little, little human with the

intent of saving that life to be born.

And that is some serious surgery.

I mean, you've seen little babies after they've been born?

Little tiny fingers, little tiny toes, little tiny everything.

Can you imagine how little tiny that is in uterine?

We're talking microscopic.

Well this, this doctor that I had, brilliant doctor, he's surgeon, and

he operated on babies in uterine.

So the man was brilliant.

Personality?

Oh, I could not be married to that man.

Anyway, so I was not complaining as far as having him on my case.

Well, okay, that can be taken in a couple different ways.

On my case, yeah, I didn't want him on my case.

But I mean, on my case as far as a patient.

There was this one incident near the beginning of the pregnancy, and my doc,

like I said, I'm going to call him Dr.

House, so I'm not revealing his name for his privacy's sake.

I don't know if he, favored, you know, thinking that he was a psychologist

or what, but he thought, well, with the number of years that you have had

diabetes, you resent having diabetes.

So therefore, as kind of a, to get back at the diabetes, you're actually trying

to force the insulin out of your body.

Now, I'd already been through a lot of experiences, and, and you'll

hear some more stories as far as the experiences I'd been through.

I'd been through diabetic ketoacidosis and almost died, and that is an awful.

Awful, awful experience.

I think you've heard me tell you about that.

It is just, it is so painful.

I mean, I've said before, I don't wish that on anybody to die that way.

And it's like, why would I ever, ever want to push the insulin out of my

body and not utilize the insulin?

I mean, this, you know, the episode that you heard about cooking the

insulin, it's along those lines.

I wouldn't want to cook the insulin because it makes the insulin not work.

Same thing.

I don't want to push the insulin out of my body.

And if you're all sitting there going, Huh?

What is she talking about?

Pushing the insulin out of her body?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's exactly where I was when he's saying, You're pushing

the insulin out of your body.

I'm looking at him and saying, What?

On Earth?

Or, you know, WTF?

Pushing the insulin out of my body and he said well you you're at that

point I wasn't on an insulin pump yet Now if if you heard the last last

week's episode you heard that I was given an insulin pump Medtronic on the

second pregnancy and I've been on an insulin pump ever since yay Medtronic

yay Minimed It's actually the pump.

But anyway, the first pregnancy, I was still on insulin shots, just like

I'd had when I was first diagnosed.

So, at that point, we were doing four shots a day.

We were, you know, trying to manage it as tightly as possible because for the

sake of the baby, we needed this diabetes to be super, super tightly controlled.

And He assumed that when I would give a shot, and the insulin would

go into my body, that I didn't want to have diabetes anymore.

So then I would psychologically expel, like I would, I would will that insulin

that I just pushed into the tissue.

Because you're putting it into the subcutaneous tissue in your body.

It's not going IM, it's not going intramuscular, it's going subcutaneous.

Just that, that first layer, you know, the skin, that I'm willing it.

I'm, I'm literally thinking about it so hard that I'm willing that insulin to

seep back out of my skin, out of my body.

Yeah, I'm, I'm thinking the same thing as you.

I'm thinking he's a nutter and he needs to go see a shrink because I do

not have superpowers, I promise you.

I don't have superpowers.

I don't have any ability to make insulin seep back out of my body.

In fact, you know what?

I was so curious about this, this thing that he's saying that I'm

doing, that I, I actually tried it.

I tried it.

I put insulin in and then I sat there and I looked at the spot

where I put the insulin in.

I made sure that my, I was at a point where I could handle it so

that if I succeeded, I was okay.

And I thought, okay, I'm going to will this insulin back out.

I couldn't do it.

I sat there, I'm willing you to come back out, I'm like, I'm crazy, I

couldn't, I couldn't will it back out of myself, I couldn't do it no way, I

could not have done that to save my life.

So maybe it's a nice thought and somehow psychosomatically people can do it, I

don't know, I don't want to argue with the man, he is brilliant, I don't want to

argue with the thought that maybe somebody somewhere, but even if it is possible.

It certainly is not something that I ever want to do, or ever wanted

to do, but arguing with him was not accomplishing anything during our visits.

So his answer was, because he was bound and determined that I was doing that,

he forbid me to give my own shots.

Yes, I was, a little bit of me was hurt, like, you don't trust me to give shots

to myself after I've been giving my shots to myself since I was eight years old.

That, that's I was a little bit angry.

I was a little bit, you know, I was, I felt humiliated.

I felt, you know, all those feelings.

You can make a whole list of them and you're probably right as far as how I was

feeling, but my focus was on the baby.

I'm not trying to sound like a saint, but really that is the focus.

Let's get this baby into the world as healthy as possible.

So we had to, it was a strange schedule, but we had to somehow figure out how

my mother could come over to my house.

Yeah.

Talk about humiliating.

I mean, here, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm living with my husband in my own house, but I have to have

my mommy come over and give me a shot as an adult woman because I'm

not allowed to give my own shot.

Yeah, I should have been rebellious and just snuck it and given me my

own shot, but I was a good girl.

I was following the doctor's orders.

And my mommy, who happens to also be an RN, would come over and give the shot.

My husband, who up to that point had never given shots before,

I mean, why would he have to?

He married a woman who, I mean, I'm very much so.

I take care of myself.

You know, I can do it myself.

I've been saying that since I was a little girl.

I can do it myself.

So I always took care of my own health on that one.

Of course, my husband helped me and supported me, but he

had to learn how to give shots.

I mean, the nurse in the, in the office, all the nurses were always sweet, all the

OBGYN nurses, and they were so supportive.

I think they thought.

This was a little crazy too, but they were very supportive and they, they

taught my husband how to give shots.

And so my husband would give the shot before he went to work.

My mommy would come over and do, I think one during the day.

And then my husband would be home at the end of the day

and he'd give the other shot.

And then the bedtime shot.

Oh, I'm telling you people, I felt so humiliated.

Anyway, so we got past that one.

I wanted to fight with Dr.

House, but it, again, doesn't do any good to fight with him about any of the issues.

So I just tried to zip it.

Which wasn't, wasn't necessarily easy, but I think it was a

learning experience to see if we could learn how to zip our mouth.

Oh, there was one other event.

And speaking of events, my mother was having a family event, and it actually,

my husband and myself, we were the honorees, if you will, and she had

gone all out, I mean, she'd made all the food, and my mother could cook.

My mum, if you will.

I mean, she made little English tea cakes and just, oh, and my parents had this big

beautiful house, and it was a big deal.

I mean, there were like a hundred people coming over and the whole

thing, and invitations had gone out.

I mean, you would think it was a ball.

It was equivalent of having.

And basically we were the honorees.

We were the guest of honor and I was in the hospital at the time.

You see, I would be in the hospital for two weeks and

then it would be out for three.

And then I would be in for two, and then I would be out for three, and basically,

they were at the hospital, they would have these suites, they were called

family suites, they're postpartum floor, and it was meant to be, like, where

family, you know, you would Have your baby, and then that's where the husband

could come stay, and, and that's where the baby was introduced to the world

and so forth, and that's where you could have everyone all set up, there's a nice

little table there, there's a little couch, there was a, you know, a double

bed, and there's a whole nice thing, and, and I would actually, they'd set

us up in the suite, because I would be there for two weeks, it was actually

a nice room to be honest with you, so when I did stay there for two weeks, and

all the nurses, They knew my husband.

I mean, my husband would go to work.

He'd come, it's kind of funny in some levels, but he would go to work.

And then when he was done, he'd come over to the hospital and

hang out there on the couch.

And we had a little laptop and it it's kind of pathetic and kind

of funny all rolled in, but you got to go with life the way it.

You know, the way it goes.

Anyway, we'll come back to that suite.

Oh, it was pink.

It was really, really cute.

Anyway, so we were all set up in the suite, and the doctor says, No,

no, you are not going to this event.

And this event had been planned for like six weeks, eight weeks ahead of time.

And I thought, can you, can you please discharge me?

So I can go to this event.

I mean, the event had been planned before I had gone to the hospital

for that two week period of time.

Because like I said, in for two weeks, out for three.

In for two, out for three.

And it's not like that was planned, like, hey, it's your two week period of time.

It just so happened that's, that's how it ended up.

I was in for two, out for three.

And he's like, nope, no way.

And even the nurses were like, come on, Dr.

House.

Can't shoot.

Can't you just let her go?

And my mother, who, you know, worked for a different hospital,

but she's like, you know, I can't do anything to you if you go AMA.

And AMA is against medical advice.

So, basically, we didn't come out and say we were going to do that, but we

kind of, yeah, you know, hinted, so the nurses knew what we were going to do.

And I got all dressed up in my little, in the suite, got all dressed up

in the dress, and, and my husband helped me and, and The nurses came

in and they, they took out my IVs.

Sort of, it's like, we're not doing this because we're not helping you

go AMA, but we are doing this because we want to pull out the IVs properly.

Kind of a strange situation, but then I got dressed up.

I went to the event.

I was the honored guest and then we came back and the nurses just carefully

put IVs, fresh IVs back in and tucked me into the hospital bed and, oh, and

of course, my mom made up a nice tray of goodies for the nurses as thank you

and we brought food back and everything for the nurses and they loved it.

But it was just this, it was never spoken about.

I think we even brought food back for Dr.

House, but it was just this, yep, we kind of snuck off, and yet we

didn't sneak off to the AMA to go to the event and then came back.

It was as if we didn't leave the hospital, but we did leave the hospital.

So, anyway.

I had to have blood drawn every, what was it, four times a day.

And I'm a hard stick, as they say about me.

It's hard to draw blood from me, no matter what.

And all the tricks, all the drink lots of liquid, everything.

So, we have to make sure they're switching from arm to arm.

The doctor forbid them to do it from my feet, from anywhere except my arm.

They couldn't do it from my hand, anything.

So, What my husband and I were doing is we would, it was a double bed in

this suite, we would switch sides, so that whichever arm was nearest to the

outside of the bed, that was the arm that was ready for the next blood draw.

Well, these poor, these poor, um These poor people that would, I cannot

pronounce the word, I would try, but you're going to have to Google that one.

It's, it's a hard word to pronounce, but the people, the people from the lab that

would come up and, and to do the, the draws, they came over and they grabbed

my and, my husband's arm to draw blood and he's like whoa whoa whoa wait wait

wait i'm not the one that's pregnant see this belly and you know it ain't it ain't

a baby there's no baby in there but i'm thinking can you i do not have a hair

i mean my husband You know, he's, he's not like, you know, the creature from

the Black Lagoon or anything like that.

But I mean, he's, he's got a hairy arm and I do not have a hairy arm.

And I'm thinking, what do these people think that this woman has a really

super, super muscular and and hairy arm, but it's like, come on guys, my arm

is like half the size of my husband's.

It's dainty and it's not hairy.

It's, I'm over here people, I'm on the other side of the bed,

but these poor people, we kept, we kept them hopping, literally.

Fortunately, my husband caught them before they took the wrong

blood and realized that they had a non-diabetic male that was pregnant.

I had been concerned.

Because of having seizures from low blood sugars that it is possible that

I would go into a seizure from a low blood sugar in the pregnancy and That

was always my concern it turns out after both the pregnancies because

that was considered that was a concern that I had with both of them I found

out that for some reason now, I don't know if this is for sure I don't know.

They want to go test the theory, but I guess a diabetic body will not

Have a seizure while it's pregnant.

That's what the doctors say.

I'm not 100 percent sure that that's true for all humans But

again, I don't think you want to go out there and actually test it.

What I found out was it will simply die It won't go into a seizure, it'll just die.

That's probably true, because I had an episode when I was at the

hospital, we were staying in that little suite, and my blood sugar

had gotten so low that I wasn't actually feeling the low blood sugar.

I'd gotten past the symptoms of low blood sugar into giddy.

You would have thought that I was drunk off my butt.

I was just super, super giddy, and giggly, and goofy, and

just, I wasn't making any sense.

And my husband was there at the time, and thank God my husband was there at

the time, because I think I was, Getting ready to go take a bath, and he was with

me, and had I been alone, and the nurses had, usually the nurses go with you, and

they would have gone with me, but had they not caught it, I would have probably

crumpled up in a corner, gone to sleep, and I wouldn't be here today, and I was

feeling off, and so he mentioned something to the nurses, and I tried to do a blood

sugar, and the, the meter would not read.

So he grabbed the nurses, and it just so happened that one of the,

the people's coming up for a lab draw anyway, so they took blood.

But when, of course, when the meter Wouldn't read the the blood

sugar and it said it was too low.

They're like, no, no, you're drinking sugar right now And so they grabbed

juice and my husband had he we always even though the hospital would treat

the low blood sugar We always kept sugar soda on the right near the window there.

Well, my husband had it.

So it was nice and cool even for him to drink as well.

We, we, like I said, we were set up like style in there since we

were there for so many weeks.

So we grabbed sugar soda and I downed it right away.

Well, the lab took the, you know, took the blood down to

the lab and they processed it.

They called up to the postpartum because I was staying, it's, I'm

staying in postpartum even though I haven't delivered yet because it's

not normal that, that women stay before they have the baby like that.

So it's the postpartum floor, but.

They called up there, and they were like, Is she alive?

It's like, is who, what?

They said, we just checked the blood sugar.

This blood sugar is 16.

This woman is dead.

Oh, no, no, no.

She's not dead.

She lived through that.

She lived through the blood sugar.

Said, oh yeah, we caught it.

We gave her juice.

And they're like, oh, they were scared when they saw how low

the blood sugar was in the lab.

And there aren't meters that will read that low.

But the hospitals, of course, have machinery that will read that low.

And they caught that the blood sugar was 16.

So I think maybe the doctors are correct when they say that a diabetic body

will not actually go into a seizure.

It just simply has a blood sugar that will go so low that You just expire.

Any of you pregnant ladies out there, make sure you keep your

blood sugar up when you're pregnant.

You do not want to die.

So we get to a point where I'm delivering.

Yes, we finally get through this pregnancy.

We finally get to a point where we're delivering.

I know a lot of people say, Well, you have no idea how much

I went through to deliver you.

And at that, I am going to save the rest of this story for the

next episode of DiabeticReal.

And this is Deborah, signing off.

Thanks for listening to this episode of DiabeticReal.

For more information about this podcast, as well as links and fun

stuff related to DiabeticReal, visit us at our website at diabeticreal.com.

Now we'll listen as Deborah E.

herself sings one of her favorite songs.

Song is called Perfectly Wonderful World, written by Denny Martin and Jaimee Paul,

engineered by me, of course, your host, Michael, in our Seaside Records studio

here in lovely Los Angeles, California.

It was on the number one ReverbNation charts for over a

year and still charts very well.

So, have a pleasant moment and listen to Perfectly Wonderful World.

Yes, I'm living inside of this Perfectly Wonderful World.